Heights of stupidity….and we pay!
Like thousands of others in the UK I have the grave misfortune to be employed by an ALB.
If you are one of these unfortunates, my reference to an ALB has likely just sent a cold shiver up your spine as you consciously reflect on life in limbo!
If you are not employed by an ALB, I had better explain.
ALB stands for Arms Length Body, usually a remote operating wing of a Government-funded department (in my case the Department of Health).
Our task appears to revolve around dreaming up methods of justifying ridiculous ways to waste taxpayer's money on an increasing variety of pointless, ill-planned, back-of-a fag-packet initiatives dreamed up by highly paid numpties who appear to have been selected for limitless ability to fudge the issue, miss the obvious and obfuscate well enough to claim an Olympic Gold. (We would be good at that...I can guarantee it).
Now that may sound bitter, but I am not (really).
But I am well pissed off, at the sheer and utter stupidity of it all and the continuing spectacle of an ALB nose diving into obscurity at great expense while simultaneously demonstrating stunning exponential abilities in squandering cash, resources, some ability and, unfortunately, much enthusiasm and talent.
Here's an example.
This ALB has an extensive office network which was over generous when originally provided but has now become more obscene in terms of wastefulness as staff levels have been cut by 50 %.
Staff levels were and are being cut because this particular ALB gravy train is being abolished (eventually, some day, once upon a time, etc). So far three abolition dates have come and gone, but we still exist, rather like a super cockroach that resists all efforts to be stamped out.
Further compounding this idiocy our ALB had to make minor adjustments on some minor contracts. This involved the re-deployment of some staff in slightly changed roles and - here's the rub - the necessity to enter into new office leasing arrangements for supposed reasons of confidentiality.
No sharing of the already extensive, unused and rather plush facilities already in place. Oh no, that would be much too sensible.
That would also call for some rational thinking.
Meanwhile, we blunder along wasting money and without any real direction or overall purpose. I still collect my salary, spend most of my day job hunting along with colleagues and generally become increasingly frustrated and more fascinated by the growing bizarreness of it all.
At some stage I shall be able to put it all down to experience (possibly useful experience, but more likely not).
I have, however, also put it down in this blog.
It's a sort of cathartic thing helping me deal with the slight guilt felt over the stupidity of it all, but also, hopefully, prompting a question or two.
There is already a Commons Select Committee investigation into this…I do hope there is no whitewash!
